A Story of an Idiot Gypsy and a Stupid Hungarian
by Overlooked Bookworm
Summary: What starts out as a fight over Transylvania ends in something more. Much more. Rated just to be safe.


**Mizore no Kitsune: **Hi! I'm sorry about Gashes in a Notebook...I've been procrastinating it. The chapter is already written, I just have to type it up. So don't worry! It'll be out soon.

**Jareth: **...more than procrastinating...

**Mizore: **Please ignore Jareth. Anyway this is an RP between me and Prumania Forever. I'm Hungary (Eli) in it and she was Romania (Sorin). I don't own Hetalia! Oh yes and the Romania in this story is hers. The only thing is, she (and Hungary) are genderbent. Yes, this is a yaoi between Male!Romania and Male!Hungary. Sorry for the impending OOCness. And PruAus. And Spamano. And the implied RusLiet. And the crack.

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><p>"You stupid gypsy! Give me Transylvania back!" Eli screeched as he hit his nemesis with a frying pan.<p>

"I will never give her back! I won her fair and square!" Sorin grabbed the Hungarians shoulders and shoved him up against the wall. "You are such an asshole."

"I may be an asshole, but I'm not a man whore! Go back to Gilbert, he'll treat you better than my Transylvania any day."

Sorin blanked. "How did you know about me and Gilbert?"

"You're always together! And did you forget that I spent fifty years spying on you? I heard you submitting to him almost every night!" Eli spat.

"Damn. You sneaky bastard. You just never shut up, do you?" Sorin spat back.

"And you never stop blushing whenever Gilbert shows up. Let me guess, you're embarrassed about the fact that he turned you into a whimpering mess every night?"

Sorin was too tired of this nonsense. He leaned in and pressed his lips softly to Eli's. Almost immediately, Eli pushed him away.

"Get off me! G-go back to Gilbert!" he sputtered.

"You're blushing!" Sorin giggled. "You like me, don't you?" He smiled.

"Dammit...that's from lack of oxygen, gypsy bastard!" Eli struggled.

"You L-I-K-E me!" Sorin said in a sing-song way.

"No...I've been with Roderich...I've liked him for a while..."

"Oh well, Gilbert left me 'cuz he's screwing Roderich," Sorin laughed. "We make a pretty great duo if you ask me. And I like you too."

"Those two perverted bastards...and no, I'm not going to let you screw me."

"Yeah, I know. I'm an uke; you're going to screw _me_. Isn't that how it works?" Sorin asked cluelessly.

"Yeah, that's how it works, but I'm an uke too. I'm pretty sure that the only people that could top Roderich are Ivan, Ludwig, and Gilbert because underneath that aristocratic exterior lies a dormant Don't Fuck With Me Seme. Once he lets loose, he's almost as much a monster as Ivan."

"Eww, TMI," Sorin rolled his eyes, let go of Eli, and began to walk to the couch in the corner. Yes, there is a couch there. Don't question the crack! "If you really don't want to do it..."

"Sorin, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that we are both ukes that need to be dominated ruthlessly to be satisfied. Only one of us will get any enjoyment out of screwing, and that would be the one that stayed as an uke. We need a seme if we want to do anything," Eli explained following Sorin.

"Like a threesome? Maybe I could convince Gil, because Roderich hates bottoming and has indeed locked Gil out of the house on numerous occasions."

"Nah, Gil has too much pride. And a huge-ass ego to boot. We need someone-"

"-Like Sadiq? I'm not sure if he still hates me, but it could work, right? I really got to know him back when we were both controlled by Ivan, and he really is a nice guy."

"...ok, I will admit that his aura is fucking sexy, but you said he might still hate you. What if he does? I mean, we need to have a backup plan. Like Antonio, but I think he's shagging Lovino." By now both Eli and Sorin were lounging on the couch.

"Yeah, I had some flings with 'Tonio, and so did Roderich at one time, but now he's 'unavailable' thanks to Lovino, so no. So it's Sadiq, unless you can think of someone else..."

"...as a backup, I'd say Heracles. Or, he could just join in, too..."

"That would make everything 20% sexier!"

"And Heracles has the highest sex rate in the world, too~"

"Yeah, that makes everything better."

"Then...why did you only suggest Sadiq?"

"Because I wanted you to put two and two together and get a foursome! That, and Sadiq is incredibly fucking sexy."

"So...who do think is bigger?"

"I've seen Heracles. He's pretty big. But Sadiq's bigger."

"Bigger than Gilbert and his 'five meters'?"

"Nobody's bigger than Gil. Nobody."

"Not even Ivan?"

"Ivan...I don't know about. The only person that would know is Toris, and he's too scared to say anything about it."

"...I'm just going to forget that I said that Gil's not cut out for this and say we should ask him if neither Sadiq or Heracles are willing."

"Ooh, he'd definitely say yes. He's a fucking horny bastard."

"If we have to resort to that I say we tie him up and torture him. Give him a taste of his own medicine."

"I like that idea! He would, too. Gil said that I'm the best he's ever had."

"I bet he would...but he probably said that to everyone else that he managed to get in bed with him. Making yourself more dominant than him by tying him up would probably teach him a lesson or two...I'm pretty sure I could steal Roderich's riding crop for you, if you want me to."

"You'd do that for me? Aww, thanks. But I have my own naughty closet full of torture stuff."

"I'm just going to take a wild shot; you used the items on Vash when you were together? I mean, there's no fucking way Gil would let you use it on him. That ego of his would get in the way."

"Yup. Vash is such a masochist."

"Dammit now I have something in common with him."

"He's so cute when he's begging for more. I've got pictures if you wanna see..."

"Hell yes. Hey, wanna piss him off by dying Lilli's hair green?"

"Never. Her hair would so look better pink."

"Eww, pink. I meant to annoy Vash."

"Still we gotta make her look fabulous."

"...I'll settle for blue or orange. I am not helping you dye a poor girl's hair a hideous colour that I don't even approve of."

"Blue, then. Can't have her looking like a pumpkin now, can we?"

"But blue is too depressing...it's not her..."

"Light blue? Or we could bleach her hair with red tips."

"Sure. But no red tips. The red would clash with her greenish eyes."

"Yay!"

"Hey, who do you think is the more dominant one? Between us, I mean."

"Between us? I'd say you. You're almost a Chibi Seme with Badass traits. You could see with the right person."

"Ok. I have an idea; we could take turns being uke until we find out if Sadiq, Heracles, or Gil are interested in joining in."

"That's good, I guess...It's just that I like being the uke..."

"I prefer being uke too, but until we convince one of them to join in, we'll have to make do."

"Ok...so...you feeling horny like I am?"

"Dude, I haven't had sex since the night before Roderich kicked me out for spray painting his piano bright green. Of course I'm horny!"

"It's your turn to top then..." And then Sorin dragged Eli to the bedroom, where they had hot mansex.

**THE END**


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